Oh, how it pains me to do this...

Background: In Transformers: The Movie, (spoiler alert) Megatron mortally wounds Optimus Prime in an epic battle (see my Passing the Matrix deck post for more on this) and is pretty messed up himself.

The Decepticons flee aboard Astrotrain, who somehow gets big enough to fit everyone inside when he transforms.  Astrotrain tells the Decepticons that they need to lighten the load if they are going to make it Cybertron. So, after a vote (who knew the Decepticons were so democratic!?) the injured Decepticons are tossed out the airlock.  Starscream carries Megatron to the door, moving one step closer to taking control of the Decepticons once and for all, and setting up one of Starcream's best lines of all time:

Starscream: Oh, how it pains me to do this!*
Megatron: Wait, I still function!
Starscream: Wanna bet?

And with that, Megatron is no more (at least until Unicron finds him, but that's another story).

This deck recreates this epic scene.  Could it win a match?  I doubt it, because we all know how well Starscream's coronation turned out...

Characters:
Captain Astrotrain (12)
Megatron Cybertronian Tyrant (7)
Starscream Decepticon Lieutenant (5)
Full Loadout (1)

Battle Cards (Pip Color)(Number in Deck):
Composite Armor (O)(1)
Decepticon Crown (WG)(1)
Energy Pack (O)(2)
Eratic Energy Genade (BL)(1)
Extra Padding (BG)(3)
Fusion Cannon of Megatron (B)(3)
I Still Function (None)(1)
Increased Durability (BL)(3)
Kinetic Converter (W)(3)
Mining Pick (O)(2)
Minor Medic Kit (BL, BL)(3)
Null Ray of Starscream (O)(3)
One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall (None)(1)
Peace Through Tyranny (OO)(1)
Reactive Armor (O, BL)(3)
Scavenge the Battlefield (O)(2)
Scoundrel's Blaster (BG)(3)
Terrifying Resilience (O, BL)(1)
Treasure Hunt (O)(2)
Breakdown: 20 orange, 9 blue, 10 green, 4 white, 12 black. 8 Actions, 11 weapons, 11 armor, 10 utility.

Why these characters: Well, to fit the movie scene I needed Astrotrain, Megatron, and Starscream.  The particular Megatron and Starscream I picked were mostly because they were the only ones that would fit the star total. So yeah, these guys probably aren't going to make an effective team. Then again, that's pretty much how it worked out in the cartoon so I guess it fits.

Why these battle cards: First, I picked cards that fit the story.  One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall is what Optimus said to Megatron before their epic deadly duel that led to this whole situation - I needed to include that. Megatron obviously needs his fusion cannon, which got some attention of its own as Rumble carried it onto Astrotrain (see above picture).  Peace Through Tyranny and Mining Pick were included because they had Megatron on the cards, but they are also legit power cards. Starscream gets his null ray, while Scavenge the Battlefield is included because it has him on it and it fits the theme of letting Megatron die so the remaining bots can grab his upgrades. Decepticon Crown probably doesn't help much here, but you know it had to be included because Starscream wore it for his coronation after he tossed Megatron.  Finally, I included a Terrifying Resilience because it has Astrotrain on it.


The rest of the deck is an attempt to make up for the hole I dug by picking cards based on who is on them rather than what they can do. Composite Armor might help Megatron stay alive for a bit. The deck is heavy on upgrades (32) to try to take advantage of Astrotrain and Megatron's abilities.  Full Loadout might help get Astrotrain equipped faster and it has two orange pips.  Cards like Medic Kit, Increased Durability, Extra Padding, and Energy Pack are there to see if we can survive a few rounds. Kinetic Converter and Treasure hunt help dig for upgrade cards. Scoundrel's Blaster fits because these guys are bad guys.

Strategy: Win or lose, you have to let Megatron die first to be historically accurate.  After that, keeping Astrotrain alive long enough to get some upgrades is the priority both in terms of winning and getting to Cybertron in time for the coronation.

Editor's note: This is my plea to the Transformers Trading Card Game to make some more characters from the movie, because we know what happened to the dudes who got chucked out of the ship!

* Whenever I play a devastating card in any card game, I say "Oh how it pains me to do this." Try it.  It's epic.